Why not a stag party in budapest

Split down the middle by the Danube river, yet inundated with great bars, outrageously fit Hungarian women, and with the heat of the South European sun beating down - Hungary's Budapest should be top of your list for a stag party location this year.

The capital of Hungary is quickly becoming one of Europe's most sought after destinations. Either side of the Danube lie the historic Buda, or the cosmopolitan centre of nightlife and shops that is Pest - acting as an intoxicating mix for a great stag weekend. Why not explore this vibrant, cultural city before the hoards of tourists descend to make it another crowded Paris.

Whatever you have planned, Budapest is so diverse that you will always find something to do in this "Paris of the East". Whether it's eating and drinking at one of the hordes of ludicrously cheap city bars, relaxing out the day after in one of the 123 registered thermal spas or simply checking out Buda's historic castle - this Eastern European capital never sleeps.

So prepare for a trip of sights, sun and wild stories to tell. Just remember to book your Monday off work. Its probably best really.

Budapest in a nutshell:

- Weekend on a shoestring? No issue. Have a beer for 80p, and dine for less than a fiver,

- Soak up the sun with some of the highest summer temperatures in Europe.

- Adventure sports, Trabant rallying and absailing in the Pilis Mountains. You may want to lay off the lager beforehand though.

Secrets of a successful marriage

Marriages are taken for granted. After the honeymoon period is over, couples co-exist. Most of the time without any charm in their married life. Everything becomes a routine - eating, sleeping, everything becomes highly predictable and dull. If kids arrive in the life of a married couple, which they invariably do, the attention shifts more to upbringing of the children.

What happened to the early romance? Why does a marriage kill a perfect romance? Why do people break-up and divorce each other so soon after the marriage? What happens in the period of their married life that brings it to either a dull existence or an end?

The very first change that can be noticed is care. Yes, before marriage, a partner is more worried about how to take care of the other partner. After marriage, it is the other way round. Why are you not paying any attention to my needs? Why do you not care for me? Why are you acting so selfishly? Why is your work more important than me? Why can you not wash the dishes

alone? Yes, I agree that you need a holiday badly, but where is the money? Accusations of different types fly around and make a hell of what was heavenly togetherness earlier.

Keeping one's married life happy is very essential. Complaining about the partner will not help, but understanding each other's needs and trying to fulfill them will. Partners need to go back in life and look for that spark that kindled the love in the first place. What did you admire in your partner before marriage? Do you still admire that or not? What did you like before, that you hate now? Reflect. Go back and think. Bring that charm back. Complimenting each other for the smallest act, expressing happiness of living together, letting the partner know how much you value her/him and so many small things that make the other partner happy must be done daily.

Why ignore your husband or wife and feel envious about other couples. Why not create a happy life that others envy? Why not make the other partner feel needed and good at all the times. Why not forgive even a big blunder? Why not put yourself in your partner's shoes and think about the life he/she is living. Why not bring the romance back by going for candle-light dinners, or watching the sunset together? Let the sun set, but keep your marriage happy.

Have you ever thought of sending ecards or e-greetings to each other everyday? They cost nothing most of the times, but for a minute. But imagine the joy of the recipient. Why not make your partner happy with such cards daily? Give it a thought.

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Is love really blind

“Is love really blind?” I wonder. Having been happily married (and some of the times not so happily) for 30 years, I cannot help but ask myself more frequently whether my love is blind. Unsurprisingly to myself, the answer seems to be affirmative. How else would I have been able to go through the various difficult times in our relationship? Logic would dictate that we would have broken up by now. The next question I have been asking is whether it had been good that my love is blind.

I found an interesting section in the book “An Introduction to Positive Psychology” by WC Compton with the title “Is Love Really Blind?”. What you will find in the rest of the article is based on what Compton wrote together with my thoughts.

In our minds, very often, we have pictures of our partners that are inaccurate. We have what is called “positive romantic illusions” about our partners. These illusions explain why we are oblivious to the faults of our partners and so enamoured of them.

While it is true that these illusions tend to fade with time, it is also true they can also strengthen with times, albeit with different characteristics.

In the former, when marital problems surface, and if the illusions disappear completely, it might lead to eventual marital breakup. Fortunately, most of the times, the illusions might weaken but do not disappear completely. The remnant illusions might help to weather the storms in the relationships.

In the latter case, the marriage might stay strong even though there may be many situations and incidents that might wreck a weaker relationship. We might even increase our willingness to accept many apparent faults and mistakes, and even idiosyncrasies, of our partners. Let us examine why this happens.

It has been found that couples who idealized their partner’s attributes, or had exaggerated beliefs about their control over the relationship, or were overly optimistic about the future of their relationship, were happier. Their relationships were also more stable and lasted longer.

These observations lead me to draw the following inferences/conclusions:

It is through the positive romantic illusions about our partners that explain why we choose our partners and not someone else.

The positive romantic illusions about our partner help us to stick to our partner even during bad times and under otherwise unfavourable conditions.

We might continue to deliberately keep a biased positive view of our partner so as to maintain, or even enhance, the relationship.

There is mutual enhancement of the positive romantic illusions that partners have for each other.

People are more committed to spouses who see them in positive light.

However, should the stress present in the couple’s life lead to strains in the relationship, the positive romantic illusions might begin to fall apart, leading each partner to realize they have been fooling themselves about the qualities of their partners. Without the presence of the positive romantic illusions, the relationship can then deteriorate very rapidly.

Overall then, it is good for couples to maintain the positive romantic illusions they have. This way, they will remain ‘in love’ and continue to experience all the joys of romantic love.

References:

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